“We’re in a time where we can all benefit from more healing and peace. That starts with an individual inner commitment and understanding of how to live that way – going from a separate view and experience to a connected one.”  Chad Wright.                                                                                                                Join us for this weekend retreat where we will focus on hands on connective tissue bodywork (giving and receiving) and physical and cognitive practices for peace and interconnectedness.  You can receive the benefits of physical freedom from pain and dysfunction, improved posture, emotional freedom and balance, clarity, and gained insight.  

When: September 21-23, 2018 (early Friday evening through late afternoon Sunday)

Where: Jameson Camp on the west side of Indianapolis, Indiana: jamesoncamp.org

Who: Anyone wanting to heal, gain awareness, and merge peace into the life they’re living

Cost: $550 all-inclusive, includes seminar, catered food by Food Guys (menu available upon request), and shared bunk-style cabin.  Or provide your own food and lodging and pay $400 for just the seminar.  Reserve your space for $100 deposit.  Balance to be paid in full by Sepetember 7, 2018 to get early price.  Price will increase by $100 if not paid in full by September 7.

Cancellations must be made 48 hours prior to the seminar to receive a full refund.  Cancellations made with less notice may participate in a future seminar.

This Connective Living Event is limited to 21 Participants, adults 18 and older.

To register: Contact Chad Wright at 317-372-9176 or info@connective-living.com

Life gives us challenges that may seem beyond our abilities to adapt, and for most of us increasingly so as we age until we ultimately lose everything we thought we had or were.
Can any gift come of that? Absolutely! Perhaps the greatest learning we get to receive while being in form – the temporary state of living with a mind inside a body – is the knowing of what is most important: who and what we are is beyond thought, beyond any role we play – beyond form.
The play of opposites is a dance we get to dance while in form. It is the extreme opposites that make life’s dance so beautiful: the highs and lows, expanding and contracting, beginnings and endings, holding on and letting go, etc. It is by flowing with, not resisting, the extremes that brings us to the middle, to peace, to our essential nature.
Dance the dance as beautifully as you can as long as you can. Dance it with a smile on your face from the love in your heart. And when your legs can no longer dance, dance inside to the rhythm of the music in your heart. And when the song in your heart has played its last beat, your dance will know no bounds.
And until that day when you become one with the song bird’s song, be an inspiration for the birds to sing, the children to laugh, the lovers to love, and the world to turn like a ballerina on the tips of her toes. With your every breath, be the beacon of light and hope that you always wished would shine on you for all the eyes who have not seen what you have seen. And you will know peace. (Chad A. Wright, June 8, 2014; updated June 11, 2018)

Peace happens in the cracks and crevices.
It happens in the slowing down –
In the noticing.
It happens in the little spaces between things and moments where there seems to be nothing –
But, in fact, there is everything.

Today I’d like to share some of the simple ways I view the array of situations I face as part of my personal practice, as well as my desire to help others who are searching for ways of experiencing freedom, joy, enthusiasm, confidence, balance, and peace. These ways are what Connective Living means to me.

There is a seps or separate self. Many people call this ego. I call it seps, because it more accurately describes what it is and what it does. When we see ourselves as separate from life, separate from others, we are completely identified with our mind or our seps. We live in fear because we feel alone and separate, and limited to the constructs of our minds, which are finite and burdened by the polarities of life – the ultimate one being the death of the separate self – the death of the mind and body.

But when we live from an interconnected perspective, we live from the perspective of our essence – we live from the middle. And the middle is peace. The middle is beyond fear – beyond life and death. When we see ourselves as being interconnected within ourselves and extending beyond the borders of our bodies to all eternity, then we are identified not with our minds, which are only a small and temporary part of us, but rather we are identified with our essence, which is boundless – limitless – and one with life.

When we view life in this way, we gain access to creative intelligence – and it is in this way that we are able to explore and experience our true genius. From this perspective, we are no longer a mind and a body. We are a Mindbody. And our mind is not only interconnected within itself and the physical body via our fascia, it is connected to the one mind of creative intelligence – the fascia of life. And our body is not only interconnected within itself and the mind, it is extended eternally to the farthest endless ends of the body of life. And both of them combined into human form merge into what is most essential about who we really are. With practice, we become powerful, free, confident, and peaceful, living courageously and creatively like the way a child lives before they are corrupted by the seps of adults’ limitations, except we are even more powerful because we are also simultaneously self – and beyond the self – aware.

When you begin accessing creative intelligence in this way, you begin to live in your unique genius, continuously discovering what makes you the unique snowflake or drop of water you are in the iceberg, ocean, or cloud of life, depending on which state you are currently in. And while you may do amazing things in the roles you play, you no longer mistake those roles for who you are. You recognize that you are the passion behind the roles.

Thinking about this is one thing. And it is from where we can start. Experiencing it through your courageous and faithful actions is quite another. The depth of this understanding is far beyond words. No words can precisely explain or describe the interconnectivity of life because that aspect of life is formless, and words are forms. Use words to point you in the direction of truth. But don’t mistake words or thoughts for truth. Understand your experience as truth.

I hope this post touched and inspired you in some way. I am excited to expand on these ways in future posts to continue my practice, and to contribute in some way to improving the quality of the life you’re living.

From the Connective Living Perspective that I strive to live every moment from, everything is connected – and ultimately one. Like you, I play many roles. And it is the passion behind these roles that drives me joyfully forward in each of them. Whether or not you personally relate with the external aspect of each of these roles, it is my desire to serve as an inspiring reflection into your own deep passion of what makes you you.  It is also my desire to share information that will in some way be universally useful.

Give your attention to can. Can’t doesn’t deserve your attention.

There is a right situation for you. Give that your attention. Practice seeing what isn’t there yet that would be beautiful to you as if it already was – and it will be.

That’s because your mind is a form, and whatever thoughts your mind forms exist as forms, and are felt through the form – or you could say inner shapes – of your emotions exactly like they were there before you – and – more importantly – within you. As they exist there, as a vibration, they exist elsewhere, and like attracts like.

This is the inner experience of creation. Strive to live every moment from this place, and you will live in ever-increasing peace and happiness. Give every moment your love and open curiosity. Every moment is equally worthy, and somehow the most challenging are your greatest teachers and pushes of momentum toward your highest self. Every moment could be your last in this form of continuation. Make this one count.

“To get a radically different result, you have to think radically different!”, Dan Rutheford, my amazing and inspiring ballroom coach.

What makes people do amazing things much more than talent is one amazing thing: They show up.

Listen to your body.
It knows better than you.

In my 13 years of performing and competing in Latin and theatrical dance (partner lifting); and my lifetime as a competitive athlete, including boxing, racquetball, and other sports and martial arts; I have had many moments where I have felt inspired and moved about a dream I had after transforming fear into triumph.  I recently received a text message that was definitely one of the highlights, though it was regarding playing a part in others transforming their fears into the realization of a gloriously beautiful dream.  It was from Jaclyn, a newlywed who I had been teaching a lift to, along with her then fiancé, Ben.

But let me back it up a few months first.  I received a message from Olga Cansino, a former dance partner, about a couple whom she was teaching and choreographing their wedding dance for.  Apparently the bride to be, Jaclyn, wanted to put the bird, aka “The Dirty Dancing Lift” into the finale of the routine.  Olga asked if I would assess their ability to do the lift, and if I thought they could achieve it, teach it to them.  I was intrigued, and agreed to work with them.

I was soon contacted by Jaclyn after an email introduction from Olga.  She quickly struck me as a high energy, take the bull by the horns kind of person who had a very clear vision of how she wanted her wedding to be – and doing The Dirty Dancing Lift was definitely a big part of that vision.

I suggested that they might want to have my partner at the time, Raquel Ward, help with the lesson as well.  They opted to just work with me.

The first time I met with them, I observed the ratio difference between their sizes.  Ben was about my height, but not as muscled.  Jaclyn was much taller than my partner, Raquel; and also had bigger muscles and bones.  While neither of them were obese, neither were as lean as Raquel and I.  Given that they were both new to dance, and neither of them had done a dance lift before – let alone a relatively advanced overhead one – I knew right away if they were going to do it, it was possible, yet pushing the limits – and it would require a lot of work on their part.

The first thing I did was teach them floor exercises to work on the balance, strength, and correcting skills necessary to safely do the bird overhead.  I did them with Jaclyn first so they would have a better understanding of what to do. They did those fairly well for the first time, and I encouraged them to continue practicing those drills on their own.

As with the exercises, I did the lift with Jaclyn first so Ben could see what it looked like, and Jaclyn could experience what it felt like.   Jaclyn and I were able to do the lift together consistently right away.  After that initial success with me, Jaclyn felt confident that she had the skills from day one necessary to do it.

Then came the true test to see what they could do together physically, technically, and emotionally in the actual lift.  After several tries that day until the point of fatigue on Ben’s part, they got about 60% of the lift accomplished.

I generally won’t put a lift in a routine I plan to perform in the near future that I can’t accomplish on the first day of practice.  However, they almost accomplished it, and they had two months to get it.  Still I urged them to consider another lift that would be easier to learn. Jaclyn insisted on doing the bird, and Ben was committed to giving her that gift for their special day.  So the bird it was.

From there, I had to put a strategy together to help them accomplish this very challenging feat.  I instructed them to continue with the exercises I taught them, scheduled our next meeting – which was further away than I thought ideal – and let them know I would contact them soon with a plan.

So, after some contemplation, I put together a speech in the form of an email:

“I’m going to be very honest and direct with you since your desire to do the bird is something that requires safety awareness, and you want to accomplish it before your wedding.

Jaclyn can do the bird with me because of my developed strength and experience. Ben could do the bird with my partner, Raquel, because of her experience and size.

I think it is imperative that we bring in Raquel to have her do the bird with Ben so he has the confidence that he can do it.

A dance partnership is a microcosm of a marriage. The issues you will have in your marriage will also be apparent in your dance partnership. This is a great opportunity to develop your partnership skills for the life you are starting together. Both partners are equally important. It is important to avoid blaming, but rather to focus on figuring out how to solve the bird or other challenges together.

Regarding the bird, you both need to put in equal effort to make it happen.  The effort I suggest is that Ben develop some needed strength and flexibility, that Jaclyn lose 5-8 pounds between now and the wedding; and that you together, and with Raquel and my coaching, develop the skills and confidence to be able to achieve this safely and beautifully.

I believe you need to work with us no less than weekly.

You really want to be able to achieve this, and I believe you can. But this is the price that comes with it.  You have to decide if you are willing to pay it.”

They mulled it over for a day, and then I got a clear and to the point response back from Jaclyn:

Hi Chad,

We are in!!  We appreciate your honesty and support.

We have a lesson with Olga this Friday at 5:30 for an hour so we can meet you after that.  Does 7pm work?  At your house?

Also, would it be possible to have your partner attend this class with us too?

Thanks for all your help.

Cheers!”

As I predicted, Ben was able to do the bird with Raquel right away.  I could still do it with Jaclyn with relative ease.  Yet they struggled to do it together.  They each trusted that Raquel and I knew what we were doing, and so they felt more confident.  So I encouraged them to keep their focus on doing their part 100% regardless of what their partner had done in previous attempts.  The more each of them did that, the more trust they could develop for each other that the other person would do their part.

The biggest hurdle for Jaclyn and Ben, as with anyone doing lifts, was psychological.  It had mostly to do with the language they spoke to themselves and the stories their minds created about what they were doing .  I could see the internal dialog from how they were moving.  In particular, they were both holding back in their own ways.  So Raquel and I helped them with that.

With both of them, we told them that whenever they are approaching the lift, the only option in their minds can be going up.  Ben’s biggest struggle was not fully committing, and staying with it even though there were challenges along the way, part of which was Jaclyn freaking out over his head.   For Ben, I gave him an internal mantra I have used when beginning a challenging lift: “I have superhuman strength!”  Then that fear, doubt, and nervous energy turns into raw, directed power – and it becomes true.  Jaclyn’s biggest struggle was allowing her weight to go over Ben, which can feel like she is falling.  Raquel helped Jaclyn identify unconscious physical habits she was developing that were throwing off the lift.  We encouraged both of them to allow the lift to be one beautiful and continuous motion.  Any stopping or thinking along the way makes it heavy.

After several back and forth weeks of incremental progress, and observing how they moved and their strengths and weaknesses, I created an entrance and exit for the lift that, as far as I knew, would be unique to their wedding dance, and was two lifts combined into a lift combination ending with a beautiful dip and embrace – and of course a kiss.

Raquel had to travel, so the last few rehearsal were just with me again.  Thankfully the timing worked out well that they got what they needed from her.

The last time I saw them, which was about a week before their wedding day, they both literally looked like different people than the ones I had met just two months earlier.  Not only had Jaclyn far exceeded the weight loss I had suggested, but Ben had also lost a significant amount of weight.  They were an attractive couple before.   Yet now they looked stronger, more confident, fitter – like dancers – and literally something vibrant and life affirming was beaming through their flesh the last time I saw them dance their routine together.  It was touching to watch them move together with dreaminess in their eyes and grace in their bodies.

Still there was a level of uneasiness as they left.  I had done my part as best I could.  They had done theirs as best they could up to that point.  Yet they had not progressed to an ideal level of competence.  And just like in the movie, the suspense lasted until the moment of the lift.

I didn’t hear anything until two days after their scheduled wedding date in California.  When I received the photos, my response was: “It looks like someone was having the time of their life!”  Yes!  They did it!  The peoples’ expressions in the background say it all.

Whatever your dreams are, no matter how big or small, go for it!  Be uncomfortable.  Be afraid.  Tell yourself that you have superhuman strength – and watch the fear dissolve and transform into something amazing.  And only then will you have the time of your life!

All the best to Jaclyn and Ben!  From What I’ve seen of the way you partner together, you will both stay 100% committed to doing your part to make your love  and marriage grow and thrive.

Many thanks to Raquel Ward in this and all the wonderful adventures we have shared.  Beautiful choreography, as always, Olga Cansino!  And thanks for the referral!

Chad

Everything is connected